


The Real BeeG (A One Night Special)

by redcurlzbychoice



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: A bureaucratic Christmas Party, Christmas, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), I‘m Apologising to Anyone, Most Silly Free Association Ever, Other, they sing karaoke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22033078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redcurlzbychoice/pseuds/redcurlzbychoice
Summary: Beez And Gabe on a Night Out in SoHo. Also sharing their hidden musical talents...This takes place while Aziraphale and Crowley are still playing and singing the most beautiful Christmas Carols and Hymns in ‚Laeti triumphantes‘ in St. Pancras Station.But as this happens to be rather the opposition of anything Our Beloved Ineffable Husbands do, I put it as a separate work, only loosely related by a bit of back story...With sincere apologies to Jon Hamm‘s body for turning it into a Seventies Disco RevivalGodArchangel...
Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	The Real BeeG (A One Night Special)

„What a fucking liar! Dezeiving scoundrel!“ Beelzebub was clutching their teeth, ranting on as they left the Arcade and stepped out of St. Pancras onto the busy street.  
  
„Now, now, calm down, dear,“ the tall man at their side tried to soothe them with his sonorous voice. „They‘re really just not worth your wrath.“

„Not worth! Never told anybody he could play that piano like the fucking demon he iz. What a grozz liar! Betraying, sswindling, cheating, beguiling fucking basstard! Never did anyone know! He‘z a fucking brilliant demon! And we lost him to this angel of yorz!! Bloody hell! He’z amazzing!!!“

„Now, Beez, he‘s just one demon, though. And this Aziraphale will give him a rather hard time, I‘m sure, bothersome and annoying as he is.“

The petite person cast an obnoxious look up to the tall man. „They looked loathsomely merry, though, wiz all zat muzic an’ singing.“

„Oh, the Caroling, yes, it was nice, but surely nothing out of the ordinary. This Aziraphale might have a celestial singing voice, but, phhhht, without real practise ... He shrugged his broad shoulders. „I always told him he should put more effort into keeping this corporation in shape, of course he‘s never listened to my benevolent advice. _Anybody_ could do what they‘ve done.“

„Yeah, ssure, I think _we_ can do better than that eazzily.“ The man was looking righteously forward and thus missed the small wicked smile on their face.

„Indeed, no doubt about that. We‘d be so much better than ... No, Beez, _no_! Whatever it is you’re implying! No!!“ At last he envisioned that there had been more than one meaning in their words. Oh, he should have known! A true Lord of Hell they were, deceiving and tempting, and he was drawn in to them too often now since they’d meet so regularly these days due to so many very pressing business meetings. (He never questioned if all of these meetings were really necessary. Being a righteous angel one was not much inclined to questioning the ways of the Lord.)

„Oh, come on, G, we‘d be great! Couple of ssongs. Don’t need to be Carols, though.“

„No, indeed, that would be icastic indeed.“

Beelzebub could feel his defiance melting away.

„Ah, come on, Gaby-baby, We’ve done it before. I know this sspot around, all you need to do iz let your hair down a little and I‘ll make ssure no one will ever know.“

He glared at them with his lilac eyes. „Promise you won’t tell?“

„Bless my heart until eternity if I do!“

„All right, all right.“ Gabriel sighed, but appeared not in the least distressed anymore. Rather - enjoying himself.

„Your hair?“

„Only when we get there!“ Well, not too much enjoying yet.

Beelzebub grinned happily and lead the way to SoHo, to a steep staircase, leading to a downstairs Bar.

„You are going to drag me into this hell hole here?“ Gabriel asked incredulously.

„Nah, looks different once you’re in the midst of it. C‘mon, you promizzed. You‘re the Archangel Gabriel, you keep your promizez.“

„I am the Archangel fucking Gabriel, and I do keep my promises, indeed, sunshine.“

„Going to let your hair down, then?“

„Oh, yes, the hair.“ He huffed, looked around if anybody was watching, concentrated briefly with eyes cast heavenwards, and the most superb mane of dark curly hair pullulated from his crown sweeping down over his shoulders.

„Better?“

„Now you look like it. Grand.“

They stepped inside and the world changed. From outside the place had looked sinister and creepy dark, now they were in the midst of bright lights that would outshine every rainbow in brightness and variety of colour. Disco balls hung from the ceiling and a lot of walls, reflecting shards of blazing colour everywhere into the room.

The crowd in the venue were equally colourful, in dress and in attitude. A tall, dark and handsome man with a petite companion wearing an extravagant hat were looked at and cheered, but never looked upon. The cheering actually did get a little louder when Beelzebub reached up to Gabriel’s shirt to open up the top seven buttons of his shirt, revealing well defined pecs, a hint of equally defined abs and more than a hint of freshly sprouted manly hair.

„Geezz, that’s the spirit, ssweet,“ Beelzebub said appreciatively to the mane of hair in front of their face. He frowned. „If it were‘t so high. Really tough on my vocal chords, you know.“

„Ah, just remind yoursself how I made you squeal the other night after that long meeting down in - ah, you know which one. Sstill up to it tonight?“

„I do keep my promises! I‘d rather if you would do the announcement, though.“

He watched them as they slipped through the crowd to the small podium with a set of karaoke microphones that had miraculously come free just now from a couple singing a very drunken version of ‚Chiquitita’. He shook his head in mild disbelief. (He was a tempered character, came with the job. Every decision was to be reached in an even-tempered mood in his opinion, no false emotions should ever get mingled with the divine plans. That‘s why he loathed this Aziraphale so much with his love for all things earthly like clothing, food, humans, and obviously in the recent months some more absolutely unmentionable pleasures that seemed to involve the opposition. No, himself being here tonight with Beelzebub had absolutely nothing to do with emotion - or fun, by all means! It was merely reconnoitring the grounds on which upstairs stood with downstairs.)

He couldn’t hide a small smile though when he saw Beelzebub from the podium gesticulating towards him to join them. He just - eh, _liked_ \- how much energy they could conjure up when they were around him. He climbed the podium as well, placed himself on the opposite side of the microphone stand and awaited meekly the first chords of the intro.

Beelzebub had taken the microphone down to their mouth and announced to the cheering crowd: „Creatures of night life! You have heard the music from the band known as Bee Gees. But you have never heard The Real BeeG. For one night -and one ssong- only! The Real BeeG!“

He hemmed a little to clear his throat, and then got into this slightly squeaking falsetto voice that Beez so easily could drag out of him, the mellow sounds flowing from his mouth - 

‚Nobody gets _Too Much Heaven_ no more, it’s much harder to come by, I’m waiting in line. ... And it flows through you, And it flows through me, And I love you so much more. ...‘

Beez was grinning like fire and brimstone, as they sung their part in an even higher pitch, and the Archangel fucking Gabriel sincerely thought „What the fucking hell!“, decided calmly that „temperance“ was to shove off for the rest of tonight and for the next couple of hours thoroughly sullied the temple of his celestial body with very sugary drinks and tacky 70ies disco music and all things considered had the best of times in aeons in reconnoitring the grounds of a SoHo bar with his most favourite opponent.

**Author's Note:**

> I sincerely wish to apologise to anybody who likes the Ineffable Bureaucracy, The Bee Gees, ABBA and Disco Music in general and to the crowds at downstairs Bars in SoHo and everywhere...
> 
> Gabriel is a daft prick still, but with Beez he might let his hair down more often...
> 
> And Many Thanks to ‘layr‘! My mind does sometimes weird things with words, letters and free association... I answered a comment by layr about Beelzebub and Gabriel aka Bee‘n‘G in „Laeti Triumphantes“ yesterday, and a couple of hours later (frustrated enough as I still am not mastering this *%&“§#* footnotes thing despite so much helpful support!!! One day I’ll hopefully also figure out how to put in links...) this silly piece popped up in my head. 
> 
> I hope I didn‘t offend anyone. I only truly like two Bee Gees songs: To Love Somebody (especially if sung by the great (!) Jimmy Sommerville) - (yes, and I do freaking LOVE Somebody To Love by the best band ever!!!)  
> 
> 
> and Staying Alive  
> — because that‘s what it does: it is the perfect rhythm of 100 bpm for chest compressions during cardiopulmonary resuscitation!!!
> 
> And the words are so much more fitting than the equally useful 100 bpm song „Another one bites the dust“ by the best band ever. 
> 
> But the choice of music is irrelevant, as long as you press down the middle of the breastbone towards the back about one third of the depth of the chest about 100 times per minute.
> 
> And don’t worry: you can’t do wrong! 
> 
> If someone is unconscious and not at all breathing (or only very strangely):
> 
> Start chest compressions!!! 
> 
> Either they need it, and you have a good chance of saving someone‘s life!  
> Or if they are not really passed out completely, then they‘ll wake up at least a little. 
> 
> In any case, first Call Emergency!!! (911 USA, 999 UK, 112 in the European Union and free call 112 works from any mobile phone, too!!!) They give you more instructions, and reassurance!
> 
> Just do something!!!
> 
> BTW: You DON‘T have to mess around with yucky mouth-to-mouth-breathing-techniques anymore! (At least not with adults, with children you can try, but it‘s easier and the psychological threshold is much lower)
> 
> (Yes, I know someone who‘s still around thanks to somebody pushing onto their chest until the ambulance arrived. That‘s why I like to spread that knowledge and how easy it actually is!)
> 
> -—-—-—-—-—
> 
> Have great New Year‘s Parties everywhere and a great start into 2020!
> 
> (And now I‘ll hopefully be free to finish what is a 2k piece of snogging with feelings already...)


End file.
